You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
she pinky promised me she was 18
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
