420 ftw
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
