I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
