sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
