Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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