# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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