I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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