Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My first STD was from a foam party
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
