Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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