what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
