let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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