Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
