im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
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