Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
