wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
