Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
