I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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