Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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