So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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