What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
