I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
