why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
