Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
