the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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