this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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