I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize