Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
this beer tastes like vomit already
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
