i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
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