I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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