dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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