This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
