Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
