I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
