We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
