I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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