Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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