My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
