YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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