When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
