so that wasnt chicken after all
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
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