Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
