Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
