Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
