It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
