So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
