I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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