even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The struggles of a small town man whore
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
