they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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