You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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