I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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