dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
