we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
