I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
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