Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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