Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
